Save or Splurge

So what can I say I work for a pretty darn cool company. I get to drool over gorgeous furniture and admire cute accessories, have cups of tea out of quotable mugs and drink purified water out of my bobble. I thought I'd do a little save of a few of my favourite drools. 

Once was

Before I met David I was a completely different person. I wouldn't say I was in the wrong crowd because I loved my friends. We were just having the time of our lives. There were a few people associated with the group that probably were a bad influence but I have no regrets. However, that is no longer who I am. I can have fun without having to stay up getting drunk playing beer pong til 4 in the morning, sleeping in til 1 o'clock and starting back all over again. Walking into parties with my girlfriends like we were flipping Regina George or something. Hey that's what your early twenties are for aren't they? Probably not so much but it makes it more acceptable.

I am thankful for the experiences that I have had that have moulded me into the woman I am today. I have learnt from mistakes, and am still learning everyday. I have to admit sometimes when I go home I worry that some people that knew the prior party girl may think that that's who I am but my friend Emily says we were all at that stage, and we are all growing up.  Obviously there are a few people who will never grow up and can't let go of it. I'm not judging because if that's what makes them happy hats off to them. Myself however, have learnt to let go. I have learnt that I don't have to be where the party is. I don't have to have all the friends in the world and I'm ok with spending a Saturday night in my sweats, eating ben and jerrys out of the tub with my husband watching OC reruns. I'd rather have a ice cream induced hang over than alcohol.

Don't get me wrong. I still drink, I still go out and I still have a good time. However, my idea of a good night with drinking is more of where's the best music, where can you have a conversation and where I can be comfortable in my own skin. Wearing maybe a small boot and casual clothes instead of feeling like I need to look like I'm going to prom to fit in. Life isn't about fitting in. It's about fitting in within yourself and finding yourself. "There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself" By Anthony Rapp I actually found this quote; at a bar, on a coaster. I thought it was quite fitting and I taped it on my mirror so I would see it everyday when I get dressed. It reassures me to stick with my guns.

Each day I try and become a better human being and person. Someone who one day will be the mother that my children look up to. I want to have bonding relationships and I want to be the person who inspires people and be inspired by others.

It doesn't matter where you came from or who you once were, it's who you are now and what you strive to be.

The Perfect Mix

I'm excited pay day is coming up soon because I've ran out of a few of my favourite things. Now I've not splurged and done the department store make up but for some reason I've never been more happy then when all of these items are combined. 

stop waiting

What are we waiting for? Things are changing. We've put a few things in motion and we aren't waiting for the right moment. This is scary but very exciting. I can't really share what this is just yet but we made the first big decision (again mother, no we are not having a baby before you even think that you actually know what this post is about). The first step is usually the hardest. It's so easy to talk about things and say you will one day do them. There comes a point though where you have to decide do you or don't you want it.  Each day we are running out of tomorrows.We've been throwing the idea of following our dreams for awhile and have finally taken a bit of a leap. If there is something you've dreamt of doing, been wanting to do why not do it. GO!

If you really knew me.

Oh yes my friends. I am back. 

Long time no see. Or read I guess. 

Thought to kick start She Sailed the Sea back up we would jump on the bandwagon of the If you knew me posts that are floating around blogland. Oh didn't you know? I kind I'm not really a leader... more like a follower. If you knew me you would know that... 

So read below. 

If you knew me....

You would know that I sometimes get so worried about not living life that I don't actually.. live life.

You would know that I hate facebook. I want to delete it but I fear that everyone back home is living their lives without me and they'll forget me. Childish?Maybe. The truth? yes. 

You would know that when I was 11 and we were moving I used all the spare moving boxes to build a room sized space station, space ship and maze. You would know that I am also very claustrophobic so if I got to the very back of the space station, I would then immediately have to crawl back to where there was an opening. Once, in moving to fast I actually broke two of my fingers. 

You would know that I sucked my thumb until I was nine. You would also know that even after that I've never worn braces.

You would know that I wish I had more friends but if I feel I have to explain myself or don't connect I don't like wasting other peoples time or my own. I have a very small handful of friends who actually get me and I don't have to explain myself. True friendships mean the world to me. 

You would know that I overanalyze absolutely everything. I.e. My tone in the way I say something, I worry I come across as bossy or rude. If I say something I always think deeper than just the words, I think of all the context it could be taken and then I worry if I've offended someone or if people think I'm rude. At the end of each day my mind goes through every situation where I could have offended someone or I interrupted someone speaking.

You would know that there are moments in my life where I have been really nasty to people and I would do almost anything to go back in time and take hurtful words back. Even if time has passed, I feel some people will always remember me as the person I was at that moment in time, when I was actually just a lost soul taking it out on everyone else. For that I'm forever sorry.

You would know that my mother is my absolute hero. No explanation needed.

You would know that I have three tattoos not two. I also don't plan on stopping there. 

You would know that I have this obsession with cute old people. Especially old couples just make my heart absolutely melt. I love having little conversations with them and I love little two cents they so kindly share. I try to put them all in my pocket in case I someday do actually change the world. 

You would know that I put on a hard front when actually my feelings are easily hurt. 

You would know that I cannot indulge in foods without thinking about everything going into my body. I can't describe how much I hate it and how I strive to be carefree. I can block it out for a limited time but that voice always comes back. There once was a time were I didn't even think twice about anything.  Then out of nowhere all the things change. I pine for the way my mind USED to be. 

You would know that I'm not really sure what my life has in store for me or what I'm actually meant to be doing but as long as David is there it really doesn't matter to me. 

You would know that I am hardly ever comfortable in my own skin.

You would know that everyday David and I dream of traveling. Packing up our bags and just going. One day ey?

You would know that I can't take a compliment for the life of me. 

You would know that thrive to be organised and clean but about five minutes after a tidy clothes go flying, make up gets spilled, shoes are here and there and what do you know a tornado has passed through the house. 

You would know that I get really nostalgic. Childhood, family time, the first night I met David, the night he proposed, our wedding the list goes on and on. 

You would know that when you comment. It really does make my day. 

You would know that I can ramble on and on and on. I now think this is probably a bit long and that I should probably get going. You would know that I'll be back and that I'm determined to make this blog what I really pine for it to be. 

   Have a lovely night everyone. I've missed you I really have. 

Currently listening to

Currently listening to by tanja-aden on Polyvore

Stepping outside....

Sooooo it's official. I'm taking a blog vacation. I know I've clearly already started awhile ago but I wanted to official announce it. I had loads of blog posts that I worked on with my mother. Baked loads of goodies and also made lots of things and what have I done? I have made the biggest rookie mistake. I stuck the memory card in my computer and then had left the house. When I got back I thought I had transfered them to my computer so last saturday when Emma and I photographed Fleur and Phil's wedding I formated my memory card and immediately after I clicked format I realized..... I  never actually transfered the images. I actually think I almost cried but, there literally was nothing to be done to fix the problem. The memories just stored in my little brain. 

I want to take some time to really work on content, spend the rest of July catching up on things, spending more time with my husband (who i've been with THREE years tomorrow and whom I've been married to a year next Friday!!!!) 

I'm not leaving for good. I'm just going to step outside for a little bit. 

I'll be back in August. 

Have a  lovely rest of the summer my lovelies. Thanks for always being on the other side of that screen.

xox